Lifeline Christian Counseling Center
God is sovereign.
He knows exactly what He is doing.
You did not pick each other; He did.
"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:5)
God has ordained your marriage. (Genesis 2: 24)
God hates divorce.
Malachi 2: 16
Except in cases of extremity (adultery; physical abuse; etc.) there is no justifiable reason to consider leaving.
All exits must be closed.
You didn't agree to marry with the expectation of change.
You married the person (or should have) for who they are, warts and all. Even if you didn't, God knows what He's doing.
Love changes people, not anger, withdrawing, demanding, etc.
Grace vs. Law
If the Law could change, we wouldn't need Jesus.
God is much less concerned about your comfort than you are.
He is more concerned (for some strange reason ;) with your eternal welfare.
He is concerned with the purpose for which He created you - to glorify Him by becoming exactly like His son Jesus.
Happiness is not found - it is a by-product of holy living.
Joy does come from the outside of you, not even from your spouse, but from a real, living relationship with the Lord of your life (Habakkuk 3: 17-19).
"You don't need more information, but transformation" (Henry Blackaby)
Selfishness is the Number One enemy of good marriages.
Marriage is proof that God has a sense of humor.
First He makes opposites attract; then He says you have to stay together forever. And like it!
After the "love drug" wears off, only spiritual growth in Christ will make that possible.
Portrait of a Godly Husband
A Godly husband loves his wife sacrificially. He seeks diligently to understand his wife. He lovingly teaches her the truth of God's word both overtly and through his conduct. He is concerned about the spiritual well being of his wife and prays for her and with her on a regular basis. He does not rule over his wife or family but is instead there to serve not be served. He is the biggest servant in the family. He follows through on his commitments to his wife and children. He finds joy in serving his wife and family. He takes seriously his responsibility to lead and shepherd his family knowing that it is to the Lord he must give an account. He listens attentively to his wife so as to grow in his knowledge of her. He realizes his wife is not 'one of the boys' and treats her with gentleness at all times. He places the interest of his wife above his own.
He is self-controlled, not easily angered, kind and humble. He is not ruled by alcohol or other forms of intoxication. He does not indulge in ungodly passions but instead buffets and disciplines his body to bring it under the authority of God and His word. He is ruled by Christ and places himself completely under His authority. He is not wise in his own eyes but relies on the wisdom of God as revealed in His word. He does not lean on his own understanding. His decisions and actions flow from his study and meditation on God's word rather than from his own desires.
He takes great pleasure in his wife's body and makes love to her joyfully, frequently and unselfishly and is faithful to her. He recognizes that his body is not his own but also belongs to his wife.
He uses his speech to edify and build up his wife and children. He guards his tongue, using it for blessing rather than cursing. He joyfully and abundantly provides for the financial needs of his family. He praises his wife to others and treats her as a precious treasure. His life reflects the fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5. He is a God-pleaser not a man-pleaser.
* Check it out in Scripture! Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3, 1 Timothy 3, 5 and elsewhere
Portrait of a Godly Wife
A Godly wife submits herself to the headship of her husband as ordained by God. She recognizes that the most free place she can be is under the authority of her husband. She 'brings her husband good and not evil all the days of his life.' She is industrious and creative, making the most of the family's resources to provide abundantly for the needs of her children and husband. When her husband is in error before the Lord, she seeks to win him over by her behavior rather than by nagging, complaining or other verbal means. She does not grudgingly minister to her husband but does so joyfully and heartily. She raises her children to respect her and their father and to honor God.
She is ruled by the word of God rather than her own emotions, desires, or her own ideas about the way things 'should be.' She walks in close fellowship with the Lord so that she is ruled by the Spirit of God rather than her own flesh. Her life reflects the fruit of the Spirit as found in Galatians chapter 5.
She realizes her body is not hers alone but also her husbands and she shares it with him in joyful lovemaking on a regular basis.
She looks not only to her own interests but also the interests of her husband. Her husband is able to have full confidence in her. Her behavior brings her husband respect. She is a helper to him in many areas, using her own particular gifts and training to benefit the family. She has a gentle and quiet spirit which makes her beautiful in the eyes of God. She uses her speech to build up and encourage her husband in faith. She is not critical of her husband to him or to others. She is ruled by a fear of the Lord.
* Check it out in Scripture! Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, Proverbs 31, Colossians 3, 1 Peter 3, 1 Timothy 3, 5 and elsewhere!